Thirty-seven days ago, I planned to write a series of Lenten Meditations on this blog, stuff I’ve been thinking about during Lent, what it might mean – you know, thoughts to change the world. Thoughts to save it.
Every time I observe Lent, I start with a plan. And, every time, I end up someplace very different.
We can try to force our spirits and minds in a given direction. We can try to make ourselves believe one thing or another.
We can try.
Most of us do. Try. To force ourselves to think a given way. Regardless of real life data or experience, impervious to education or emotion. We insist we have this One Right Opinion, and we refuse to budge.
In the process, we eliminate any opposing way of thinking.
One could say, we crucify it.
The challenge of observing Lent is, if you really *do* it, your plans will change.
You will find your ideas challenged, and you will experience, not conviction – but Doubt.
Real meditation leads to Doubt.
And, it must. How do we know what we believe if we don’t question it? Surely, God is so big that my wondering about this or that isn’t going to threaten Him. And if it does, can it really be said that He is God? If God is loving and compassionate, and if He did give us Free Will and Intellect, doesn’t it stand to reason that He would want us to use these things? Even if it means questioning Him?
Doubt does not mean that one lacks Faith. On the contrary, I believe it is the beginning of Faith.
I cannot plan my path towards enlightenment; I can only continue walking on it, and have Faith that it will bring me closer to Truth.
This is my lesson from this year’s Lent:
Release yourself from your notions, your planned understanding of what faith / philosophy / ideology should look like.
Just Be it.