Real Life, Really

You know that scene in Dead Poet’s Society where Neil’s father runs to his son’s window after having heard the gunshot screaming, “Neiiiiiiillllllllllll!!!!!!” and you get the super cheesy super so-mo horror shot?
Okay, so here is today’s:

I’ve just gotten off the phone talking to a friend while in the background her four kids screamed at the top of their lungs the whole time. They are just being kids, playing chase, and so on – they aren’t misbehaving at all. I just happen to be abnormally sensitive to certain pitches, and they make me agitated and nervous. So, no one’s fault, but I get off the phone and my nerves are a puddle around my feet and I’m about to throw a silver plated bookend across the room.

Phone rings again.

Pause. Click. The telltale hiss of the telemarketer’s quality assurance recording devices turning on.
I say again, “Hello?”

“Hello, is Mr. Christensen available this evening?”

“Are you from the Healthcare survey group who called yesterday and hung up on me?”

“Um, no, ma’am. I’m from the Children’s Leukemia Society. I’m so sorry about that caller yesterday.”

“Okay, what can I do for you?”

“Like I said, ma’am, I’m so sorry about that man yesterday. That wasn’t me, that’s for sure. I know what it’s like to have hundreds of callers call you at home and interrupt…”

He continues talking for at least another 45 seconds. I wonder to myself if I’m needed for this conversation.

“So, I’m so sorry to hear that Mr. Christensen isn’t available. I’m sure that he’s the only person in the house with the ability to make financial decisions about where you donate to and which charities you support –”

He keeps talking. I’m thinking, “No…. You did NOT — ”

“Excuse me, sir. Sir, excuse me. Yes, my husband is out of town right now. However, I am equally capable of making any and all of our financial decisions and so I can speak for us both when I say that there is no need for you to call back when he returns.”

“Oh, you can? Really? Oh, well, it’s for the kids –”

“Yes, really, I can. And we won’t. Thank you. Good evening, sir, and good luck.”

You guys know me. I can’t make this up.


About Shannon Blue Christensen

Storyteller. Author. Editor. Literary Critic. Director. Teacher. Knitter. nascent Musician. Student. Operations and Quality. Marketing. Historian. Lear's Fool. View all posts by Shannon Blue Christensen

3 responses to “Real Life, Really

  • KM Huber

    Does my heart good to read your post. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The recent insanity regarding women is too real to ignore. Thank you for making my day.


    • shannonbluechristensen

      I’m glad you enjoyed it, Karen.

      This troubled me not only because it was directed at a woman, but because it symbolizes to me a general lack of observation and consideration for others that most people seem to be guilty of these days.

      It’s easy to say “oh, that man hates women” and so forth – but I don’t think that is true. In fact, most of the awful things done to women are by other women. Most men actually are quite fond of women, and enjoy their company as partners and equals, in work or in bed. 😉 People who are unpleasant to women tend to be just as unpleasant to men as well. Men just aren’t socially permitted to complain about it.

      I believe that it won’t be until we stop seeing things as male / female, black / white, rich / poor that our society begins to truly move towards sincere equality. I’m shakier on my belief that this is possible, but I do hope.

      Best Regards,

      • KM Huber

        When it comes to duality, I am with you, Shannon, no either/or but oneness. For me, feminism has always been about full equality for both sexes, not one over the other. As an aging hippie, I am even more feminist in this regard for I do hear familiar, historical cries from both sexes and resolve grows greater.

        Another thought-provoking post. Thank you.

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